dialing for dollars

democracy by the people
for the people.

sorry - must go find clunker
to trade for new car.

thank you Uncle Sam!

(ji bo, 2009)

..............

old wheels

man drives old car to car dealer,
says, "here to look at new car."
talk talk talk
cream puff
dream on wheels
floats on air.

man looks at sticker price,
looks at his old car,
looks at clouds.

man drives down highway,
says to his old car -
"you win; let's go to the movies!'

(ji bo, 2009)

............

word power

human brain
wired to talk
to animals
plants
fungi
clouds
mountains
rivers
wind
fire.

(ji bo, 2009)

..............

the perennial philosophy -

neither perennial
nor
philosophy.

(ji bo, 2009)

man answers 500 e-mails;
computer hot as iron skillet.
499 e-mails say "buy Viagra!"

man turns off computer
walks outside:
slanted moonrise,
20 million insects,
1 million frogs
being real.

(ji bo, 2009)

evidence of design flaws in human anatomy

1. sinuses
2. location of prostate gland
3. root canal/nerve placement in teeth
4. gut gas
5. selective memory

(ji bo, 2009)




................

walk to café
drink coffee
read newspaper.

go outside
look at clouds
see forever.

world's shortest poem

hello.

Crazy Horse

man reads a book
about famous Lakota warrior -
Crazy Horse.

when book is over
man says,
"Crazy Horse was not
crazy!"

(ji bo, 2009)

quantum meruit

in aftermath
of gravity -
what next?

(ji bo, 2009)

within the mind
another mind;
who is it?

(ji bo, 2009)

when the dam breaks
all fish end up
in the whirlpool.

(ji bo, 2009)

insect of the day -
ants!

did you know
ants talk
by smell?

(ji bo, 2009)

advice for air travel to San Francisco:
do not take Highway 101
from San Jose Airport.

advice for air travel out of San Francisco:
do not depart from San Jose Airport.

(ji bo travel tip, 2009)

yellow bird lands on man's shoulder
sings migration song.
man takes bird to newspaper
says, "New singing sensation!"

bird wins American Idol
records hit single
Number One on Amazon.com:

first snow of year -
birds flies to Costa Rica
for winter.

bird sings hit song to local villagers.
farmer says, "Yellow bird good to eat!"

bird's singing career in question.

(ji bo, 2009)

is it possible
to argue
with yourself?

(ji bo, 2009)

walk Kehoe Beach
Pt. Reyes Seashore:
kelp art
abundant;
step on vulture shadow;
crimson dragon fly;
one small seal
arguing
with curious seagull.

(ji bo, 2009)

1/

man boards jet plane
flung into sky
like cat-eye marble
from slingshot.
clouds part,
passengers laugh
talk business
order drinks.

2/

man looks out window
sees 10,000 miles
checkerboard farms -
where is forest?
where is elk?
where is bear?

3/

vast desert sea -
Grand Canyon off one wing
Infinity off other wing;
plane slices sky
big jet-razor blade;
passengers very loud,
too much whiskey.

4/

plane lands Las Vegas;
Captain says,
"Good luck with slot machines!"
sparrows play in Concourse B,
airport a nice exhibit -
Homo erectus asphaltus zoo -
everybody happy!

(ji bo, above Nevada, 2009)

tree falls on telephone line -
man calls Telephone Company,
says, "tree is on important wires."
Telephone Company says, "we don't do
tree removal."

man says, "what if tree falls further, knocks down wire?"
Telephone Company says, "we come fix it."
man says, "i'll wait for tree to become your problem."

silence.

man says, "don't forget your saw!"

(ji bo, 2009)

bank teller pushes wrong button,
hands man 1 million dollars.
man looks at money, looks at teller.
man says, "thank you very much."

man uses money to build rocket ship.
man is last seen by NASA telescope
heading for Orion.

(ji bo, 2009)

latest fashion trend

surgically reshape entire body
into perfect physique seen in magazine.
implant genetically modified hair,
teeth, nails; swap old eyes for TV eyes;
replace brain with digital hard drive.
no more need for internal organs,
feed body nuclear power.
relocate to gigantic beach resort;
plug-in; turn-on; enjoy robot life:
no more indigestion, headaches,
menstrual pains.

when latest fashion trend is complete
all humans will live in peace -
one big happy resort family.

200 years later:
too many robots use up
all nuclear power.
gigantic beach resort turns
into ghost town.

300 years later:
world's forests return
world's rivers return
world's whales return
world's lions and tigers return
world's jungles return.

circle complete.

(ji bo, 2009)

fungi network

did you know -
mushrooms across world
communicate by vast fungi
internet?

(ji bo, 2009)

doctor calls man, says:
"I have results of blood test."
man says, "let's have it.
doctor says, "you're going to live forever."
man says, "uh oh."

(ji bo, 2009)

1st voice: I believe in Government.
2nd voice: I believe in Buddha.
3rd voice: I believe in Algebra.
4th voice: I believe in God.
5th voice: I believe in Einstein.
6th voice: I believe in Nothing.
7th voice: I believe in Tao.

all voices walk in room,
talk at same time:
no listening;
just lips moving -
"bzzzzz,"
swarm of locusts.

next day -
voices tired;
go home,
argue with mirror,
take nap,
start over.

(ji bo, 2009)

Remember the Alamo!

Davy Crockett sees bear,
says, "Hello Mr. Bear;
I need your fur
for winter coat."

bear climbs tree/disappears.

Davy Crocket sees raccoon,
says, "Hello, Mr. Raccoon;
I need your fur
for hat."

raccoon climbs tree/disappears.

Davy Crockett sees flying saucer,
says, "Hello flying saucer;
I need ride to Alamo!"


(ji bo. 2009)

Raven

trickster
talks to itself
about human beings,
laughs, black feathers
magic, psychopomp.

some tribes say Raven created everything
including the People. Fire was Raven's gift;
it came with hooks and trouble. If dealing
with Raven, watch your back. When hungry,
Raven can and will eat the Universe.

(ji bo, 2009)

when traveling
down
road of Life
best to have
spare tire.

(ji bo, 2009)

............

gorgeous waitress
bumps into old man
at cash register,
says, "i'm sorry -
am I cutting you off?"

old man steps back,
says, "ok; women
have been cutting me off
my whole life."

gorgeous waitress smiles
million dollar smile;
old man melts into Universe.

(ji bo, 2009)

no island

preacher says, "no man is island."

no tree is island
no cloud is island
no island is island
no planet is island
no solar system is island
no Universe is island.

preacher, tree, cloud
planet, solar system -
where is seam?

big mysterious,
enough.

(ji bo, 2009)

advice for neophyte desert rats

when in desert back-country
best to remember -
10 gallons pure water,
extra pair thick socks,
detailed topo map,
and very sexy hiking partner.

(ji bo, 2009)

..............

10 Essentials to Have in Trunk of Car When Driving in New Mexico

1. bottle of tequila
2. bag of limes
3. shaker of salt
4. infrared flashlight (for Jack-a-lope night hunts)
5. emergency BBQ grill (to cook Jack-a-lope)
6. 100 gallons of water
7. case of SPF 70 sunscreen
8. portable solar panel (for back-country laptop use)
9. snake bite medical repair kit
10. 1,000 hits of Ibuprofen

(ji bo, 2009)

Man in the Maze

in order for accurate
Vedic astrological chart,
must have date of birth;
exact minute.

Man in the Maze
asks Mother,
"what did clock say
when I was born?"
Mother says,
"I was on pain pills;
don't remember."

Man in the Maze
asks Doctor,
"what did clock say
when I was born?"
Doctor says,
"look at birth certificate."

Man in the Maze
goes to Birth Department,
turns on computer,
finds birth certificate -
"due to technical malfunction,
time of birth unknown."

Man in the Maze
climbs mountain,
sits on rock,
watches sky:
moon, infinite stars.

Big Dipper says,
"exact time of birth
is now!"

(ji bo, 2009)

sign on wall
says, "please bus your table!"
drink bamboo tea
celebrate one drop rain;
calling all ghosts:
train leaves at midnight.

outside -
partly crazy:
sunflowers explode
beneath atomic clouds,
tattooed maidens
dance drunk
to 60's radio.

the damned
will survive!

(ji bo, canyon road, 2009)

the Pecos

Beware of flying saucers!

looking over shoulder
man walks backwards
in direction of India.
In 5 years he will arrive
at burning ghats.
man is on special pilgrimage -
What is secret of yoga?

old sadhu sits
beside Ganges River;
makes tea.
200 pounds of hashish
swirl through his nervous system;
face covered in ash;
sings song to Shiva.

man walking backwards
says, "old sadhu, what is secret
of yoga?"

old sadhu pours tea,
says, "secret of yoga very simple -
when walking on long journey,
look straight ahead!"

on far side of river
elephant trumpets
end of another day.

(ji bo, 2009)

world eats itself
ocean eats itself
outer space eats itself
Universe eats itself.

everything eats
everything else,
perpetual motion machine
100% hungry.

when Time runs out
of time,
café closed.

sun comes up
over mountain
time for breakfast.

(ji bo, 2009)

crow music

guru eats oatmeal
washes dishes
turns on iPhone
calls disciple -

"Time to learn dance
of 10,000 Shivas,"
says guru.

disciple bows to Universe
spins body 100 mph
sees Shiva.

Shiva opens 3rd eye,
says, "What are you doing?"

disciple says, "Dance of 10,000 Shivas;
very holy yoga!"

Shiva waves hand
turns Universe into drop
of water.

10 million years later:

Shiva wakes from nap
feels thirsty
drinks drop
of water.

one Shiva
one dance
one drop
one Universe.

stay tuned......

(ji bo, 2009)

wearing blindfold
choose book
from library shelf.

open book,
see 1st word
that hits eye.

return book
to shelf,
walk outside.

if word still
in mind,
give it to bird.

listen to bird
sing word
to sky.

bow to bird
and vast empty
universe.

(ji bo, 2009)


........................

special enlightenment offer

in far galaxy
alien scientist sends radio message
to all life forms
in Universe.

Attention, sentient beings
introducing revolutionary new product -
Kensho in a Kan!

No more suffering!

Eliminates 6 Poisons
5 Kleshas
12 Chains of Causation
25 kinds of bad Karma,
and attachment to any idea
of Self.

Made from non-dualistic,
sustainable, recycled,
green ingredients.

Accept no imitations;
order you very own
Karma in a Kan
today and awaken
to the Moment
of Truth.

Only $19.95
unless prohibited by law.

Don't wait for re-incarnation.
Skip the Bardos;
say hello to Amitabha Buddha
today!

Thank you.

musician plugs in
guitar
plays single note
for one hour;
big echo.

at end of concert
musician unplugs
guitar,
says, "boring, but sustainable!"

(ji bo, 2009)

.............

ox herding

walking riverbank -

cicadas whine in night;
footprints in sand:
wandering ox.

girl plays flute
sings lullaby,
stars collide
in ink sky.

ox appears
stomps earth;
girl's flute creases time;
cicadas vanish.

girl rides ox
through fields of flowers;
no direction,
going where?

flowers, stars,
cicadas, sky,
lullaby, ox -
empty circle.

girl drinks tea
no thought
for tomorrow.

(ji bo, 2009)

from space
world looks round.
from ocean
world looks blue.
from desert
world looks hot.
from jungle
world looks green.
from city
world looks fast.
from hospital
world looks sick.
from cemetery
world looks dark.
from womb
world looks new.

baby appears,
says, "Wah!"

it begins
again.

(ji bo, 2009)

man walks across border
to see other side
becomes hungry
eats lunch on park bench
watches crow steal cigarettes
pops umbrella against rain
takes nap beneath tree
dreams very long dream
about crossing border.

man wakes up
goes home
wonders -
what does crow want
with cigarettes?

(ji bo, 2009)

inner space

inch worm
nowhere near
an inch.

(ji bo, 2009)

Taoist Vacation Guide

when traversing the Way
best be prepared for:
surprise hurricane,
earthquake, tsunami.

avoid erupting volcanoes;
steer clear of war zones;
beware of swine flu epidemics;
watch your back when entering unknown saloons;
never quarrel with Police officers;
guard against venereal disease.

when confronted with total chaos,
call Intergalactic Emergency Squad
for fast road-side assistance.

remember words of La-tzu Jones:

"you're only as alive
as you think you are."

have a nice trip!

(ji bo, 2009)

man looks in mirror
says, "mirror too dusty!"

man wipes mirror
until he sees sparkle,
says, "much better!"

man looks closer
sees blemish on nose,
says, "mirror better
when it was dusty!"

in vast Universe
where is dust?

(ji bo, 2009)

talk on phone
"hello."
talk to wife
"hello."
talk to government
"hello."
talk to self
"hello."

sit on mountain
look at clouds
talk to Universe
say nothing.

(ji bo, 2009)

knock knock.
who's there?
eye.
eye who?
eye am.

this is a recording

telephone rings, man answers:
"hello?"
"happy day!" voice says.
"who is this?" man says.
"this is a recording," voice says.
"what do you want?" man says.
"do you need life insurance?" voice says.
man scratches head.
"i have life insurance," man says.
"how about a new TV?" voice says.
"i don't watch TV," man says.

pause.

"everybody watches TV!" voice says.
"who is this?" man says.
"this is your conscience speaking," voice says.

man buys TV.

meteorite falls from space
lands next to Tiger Woods
on famous golf course.

meteorite has message
painted on surface:
"Eat at Galaxy Joe's!"

...............

in 5 million years - no more humans;
only robots on planet Earth.

one day robots evolve, become biological:
real skin, teeth, hair, eyes, ears, heart.

robot leader says, "Welcome to New World Order;
robots are now Human Beings!"

robots convene giant celebration, drink wine, sing songs.
9 months later, many new Human Beings.

in Amazon jungle, emergency meeting of animals:
"Big trouble," says Toucan. "The humans are back!"

(ji bo, 2009)

hamburger - American dish.
teriyaki - Japanese dish.
dim sum - Chinese dish.
lasagna - Italian dish.
pot au fer - French dish.
evening news - satellite dish.
flying saucer - alien dish.
collection plate - Protestant dish.

invite NASA to dinner
serve galaxy on big platter.
soon galaxy all eaten.
hand platter to top scientist
say, "your turn to wash dishes."

(ji bo, 2009)


................

crow talk

Old Taoist jumps
into magazine,
says, " I am Qi Master,
posses power over animals,
plants, wind and water!"

magazine is delivered
to entire world.

Old Taoist becomes celebrity,
makes infomercial
for new/improved
Pill of Immortality.

Pill of Immortality becomes big hit.
Old Taoist buys Cadillac,
Hollywood mansion with deluxe Jacuzzi.
Soon the Hills are alive
with the sound of drunk maidens.
Old Taoist very happy man!

Old Taoist eats 1,000 hamburgers,
drinks 300 gallons of wine,
smokes 2 million cigarettes.
Universe smells like roses.

One day Old Taoist feels funny
falls asleep, takes trip to Taoist Underworld.
Nightly News interrupts popular soap opera:
"Hollywood's Old Taoist explodes by swimming pool.
President orders moment of silence."

Old Taoist wakes up in 3rd Hell,
says, "I am Qi Master! Where are my cigarettes?"
Voice erupts from Deep Void:
"Special deal on Wal-Mart cigarettes,
one puff in exchange for soul."

Old Taoist tries to laugh
can't remember how.

(ji bo, 2009)


....................

BIG red blob
fantastic
exploding Universe!

repeat performance

man falls asleep
has 2 dreams
at one time -

Dream No. 1:
man is aboard ship
in shallow water
rocks flash
below surface.

Dream No. 2
man is fish
watching ship
in shallow water
dodging rocks.

man wakes up
walks to bus stop
goes to work
pushes buttons
on computer
eats lunch
attends business meeting
goes home
watches TV
falls asleep.

11 months later:
man wakes up
looks at calender,
says,
time for vacation."

(ji bo, 2009)

................

experiment for zen meditation:

stand on head
watch thoughts
upside
down.

(ji bo, 2009)

...................

1 in 3 fish
become food
for -
pigs
dogs
cats
chickens.

soon no more fish
in ocean;
human beings eat clones
from high-rise
vat factories.
very tech-no-logical.

one day
human beings turn into
plastic robots
with computer brain;
only eat nuclear power.
very tech-no-logical.

soon fish reappear,
swim in ocean
no longer needed for -
pigs
dogs
cats
chickens.
very eco-logical.

everybody happy.


(ji bo, 2009)

............

fisherman's wife - dream?

fisherman's wife falls in love
with octopus.
very big problem.

fisherman calls Hokusai,
says, "how to save face?"
Hokusai tells Wal-Mart:
"new big trend - octopus sex!"

Wal-Mart sells 12 million octopi.
fisherman becomes rich and famous,
says to wife: "next stop - Oprah!"

fisherman's wife becomes mermaid
says "goodbye" -
swims into ocean blue.

(ji bo, 2009)

phone call from mr. picasso

phone is blue cube
man holds receiver to nose
"bon jour!"
man swaps eye for ear,
jumps onto balcony
holds guitar with one finger.
"not so fast!"
man pirouettes, turns face,
head points at Jupiter.
"just right."

man hangs up phone,
returns guitar to closet,
puts on rain coat, walks to cafe.

the sky/dark
pewter/air
man quickens step.

(ji bo, may 2, 2009)

hello, Universe!

hello from Iron Mountain!

favorite poet for May 1, 2009: "One has to become an anarchist egg in order to seek freedom and peace.... Therefore 'the heaviest of struggles in the world' is the battle against myself, who is so well tamed in the world. I feel indeed that the purest and strongest untamed passion is necessary in order to unravel the bindings of 'rightness'". (Kim Seung-hee, from "I Want to Hijack an Airplane")

very good.

ji bo says, "when hijacking plane, best to have good lawyer waiting at airport!"

.................

Hanako

base of Mt. Otake

Hanako swims

226 years. 

(oldest vertebrate recorded, a koi, d.1977, 226 years old— 

June 1997 issue of Koi USA magazine.)

................

swine flu update:

virus very smart

mutation expert.

best to go fishing

avoid crowds

drink sake

watch kung fu movie

turn off TV.